On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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