Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
