I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
