Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
