do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
