Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
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I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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