Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
