My friends, they love my intelligence
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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