My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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