While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
