new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
