i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
