I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
