She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
