he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize