Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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