Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
