Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
