I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
