Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Never joke about your clitoris.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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