ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
