you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
