You can't motorboat a personality
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
