So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize