I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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