32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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