Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
