You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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