she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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