I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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