i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
