I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
