he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize