i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
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