Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
