You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I need a beard to bite.
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