And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
