Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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