Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize