i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
