Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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