May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you made out with another girl for some wings
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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