So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
