i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
