look no pants
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Congratulations! We have a period
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