i just google imaged poop.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
