So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Swine flu. Run for my life!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My liver just broke up with me...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How drunk are you??
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
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