it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize