what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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