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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 12, 10 at 12:27am

    Or maybe his dad was saying that he thought his son was a bigger man than to be jerking off. Like maybe he believed his son could actually get laid.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 11, 10 at 11:11pm

    Ouch.

  • Submitted by 04stx on Mar 12, 10 at 12:04am

    There is no way a father would think or say that about his son. Also lock the damn door next time.

  • Submitted by pnwd on Mar 12, 10 at 12:29am

    Asians...

  • Submitted by foxybrunette1798 on Mar 12, 10 at 12:44am

    I completely agree with the bigger/better man comment. Morality was the size in question.

  • 85 68
    Submitted by Yocheckitout on Mar 12, 10 at 12:22am

    apparently the apple does fall far from the tree.

  • 83 67
    Submitted by nads360 on Mar 12, 10 at 9:14am

    Sounds like it should be on fml

  • 78 68
    Submitted by gllsthatkills on Mar 12, 10 at 4:29pm

    haha I like that you followed a rather obscure rule of grammar in this text: saying "my jacking off" instead of "me jacking off". classy.

  • 84 84
    Submitted by djayed on Mar 12, 10 at 9:34am

    Ummmm yeah akward

  • 77 70
    Submitted by BBCowboy808 on Mar 12, 10 at 12:52am

    At least he was honest... Lol

  • 71 62
    Submitted by AnDo35 on Mar 12, 10 at 4:13am

    1:06 the pun is clearly intended since you put quotes around the word.

  • 75 71
    Submitted by turdsuckermother on Mar 12, 10 at 12:26am

    This has to be an FML. wrong site moron.

  • 71 65
    Submitted by wrestlingladayy2 on Mar 12, 10 at 3:21am

    hahah well its not about the size, its how you use it...but clearly he doesnt use it well if he needs to jerk it...FAIL.

  • 70 66
    Submitted by iamamazing on Mar 13, 10 at 11:55am

    FML moment.

  • 74 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 12, 10 at 1:04am

    Gyros are delicious!!

  • 74 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 12, 10 at 3:54am

    Ya I call BS. Why would you text someone this after it happened??

  • 75 79
    Submitted by peggysue19 on Mar 11, 10 at 11:54pm

    Awww :((

  • 68 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 12, 10 at 9:24pm

    Sounds like a personal problem to me but seriously u pussy just wait till he goes to bed dumbass

  • 73 76
    Submitted by thisnigga on Mar 12, 10 at 7:29am

    Should of told him trun the heat up because it cold

  • 75 85
    Submitted by maskedman on Mar 12, 10 at 7:55am

    I just bought some enzyte and it said masturbation makes your penis bigger. Sort of a "use it or lose it" type of deal. \n\nOf couse, sex also helps.

  • 66 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 12, 10 at 3:53am

    Fake

  • 64 65
    Submitted by dudeshesgotadick on Mar 12, 10 at 9:26pm

    My dad just said fuck her harder

  • 60 59
    Submitted by shawn22 on Mar 31, 10 at 11:18pm

    This is on fml

  • 67 74
    Submitted by AllYourBase on Mar 12, 10 at 12:38am

    Ya man, you need to grow up (rofl)

  • 60 62
    Submitted by interviewfails on Mar 12, 10 at 11:12am

    lol well, that's an awful way to start a night. interviewfails.com

  • 64 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 12, 10 at 6:12pm

    Maybe he just said that so you'd feel like shit and not Jack off anymore.

  • 57 64
    Submitted by rocketsam9 on Mar 30, 10 at 8:15pm

    This isnt FML you tard

  • 65 81
    Submitted by chandler on Mar 12, 10 at 1:40am

    For some reason, I am very turned on by this...

  • 51 56
    Submitted by pokinsmot on Apr 21, 10 at 12:59am

    pussssay!

  • 66 86
    Submitted by bigmike1016 on Mar 12, 10 at 12:07am

    Niggas

  • 58 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 12, 10 at 8:19am

    Just say, "it's a pretty good size" next time

  • 49 60
    Submitted by deadpool91 on Dec 24, 10 at 5:52pm

    Kinda disturbing that he was thinking about it \nO.o

  • 63 93
    Submitted by xsaint on Mar 12, 10 at 12:16am

    Fake.. dads dont say this shit

    • 54 77
      Submitted by ABassLineLow on Aug 2, 10 at 3:02pm

      Then you haven't met my some of my friend's dads, obviously.

  • 53 74
    Submitted by Funnyman on Mar 14, 10 at 3:22am

    :0 that mean. But funny

  • 51 72
    Submitted by athng4blondes on Mar 13, 10 at 11:26pm

    damn what an asshole!!

  • 53 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 12, 10 at 1:01am

    haha oh camarillo

  • 33 53
    Submitted by saren0314 on Aug 14, 11 at 12:33pm

    Lmfao!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 11, 10 at 11:07pm

    F I R S T B I X N I T C H E S ! !

  • 54 96
    Submitted by hilarious1111 on Mar 12, 10 at 1:06am

    Poor "little" guy... No pun intended!

    • 56 82
      Submitted by youngster3956 on Mar 13, 10 at 10:59am

      you put "little" in quotation marks, of course you were trying to make a pun....don't lie to me

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Mar 11, 10 at 11:04pm

    FIRST BITCHES !

  • Submitted by pandaboy on Mar 11, 10 at 11:06pm

    First niggas