i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
