i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
