I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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