so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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