Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
