i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
