GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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