I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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