K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
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Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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