I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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