It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
