how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
