Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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