On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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