I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You must be Logged in to post a comment
Is it just me or does that seem really shitty? You took an innocent fish and killed it to make yourself feel better. Maybe you're just an asshole, which might be why your GF is now an ex.
Wow, you're awful! I certainly understand why your ex left your sorry ass!
You're retarded and you should die.
wow, makes sense why your ex left you! you had NOTHING better to do than sit around and kill a goldfish? loser.
The difference between killing fish for food, using what it gives you without waste, and killing it in revenge of something other than itself is significant. Also, those who protest are also likely to protest other cruelties like how cows are killed and bull fighting. Just because we eat meat does not mean we don't care for the quality of life in lesser beings.
wow, youre a prick. killing an innocent animal for your own personal gain is one step closer to being a serial killer and being a mental case. get some help dude. youre pathetic.
ew, assshole. go dieee
What a loser. Your life is worth 25 cents. :)
hahaha thats awesome...its a GOLDFISH people not a dog or some shit...half the time those things die in a week anyway
I wrote this and I would like to say 1) Anyone who's that offended by this is sad. 2) To the person whose "time I wasted" you're sitting on TFLN at 10:40 am, time to re-evaluate how precious your time is. and 3) It's a fucking goldfish. I bought it, named it after my ex because I knew it would die. Because it's a GOLDFISH. I took care of it and it died because it cost 25 CENTS. Calm down, hippies.
PS That fish wasn't even that fucking innocent. He had shifty eyes.
haha you're the most pathetic piece of shit ever
fuckstain. try a little thing called getting over it. sad little man.
that goldfish did nothing to you!
LOL at first I though this guy was an asshole but then I read the comment he posted.. I may be in love! Never trust a fish with shifty eyes..
omg its a goldfish everyone get over it
It's a goldfish. All you people who are saying kill your ex before another innocent animal are fucking morons.
Bunch of pussies on here, crying over a goldfish.
Bahahaha I think this is helarious! Maby the gf was a stupid lieing bitch! She prob deserved to die too! I wish I would of thought ofthe fish idea first!
FUNNIEST THING IV HERD ALL DAY! oh good stuff :)
Did you get the fish at the fair? Carnies give you half dead fish anyway.
Wow bro ur an asshole
Oct 14 1101 made my day and the op is right ur hippies
Shift Eyes, bwahahaha
That's effed up man.
I wish you'd killed yourself instead. That goldfish was apparently worth a whole lot more than your disgusting existence.
Shit ur around my erea code one more reason to hate ga
That's mean, goldfish did not deserve to die. Kill your ex before you kill another innocent animal.
I happen to very much enjoy your way of doing things my friend.
Still, It's one of God's creatures just like you. Just because it's small doesn't mean that you should just kill it.
I shall name you Squishy and you shall be my Squishy!
i want to meet this kid
you made my day, as well as everyone i've shown it to
i hope it got you over your ex
wtf is everyone freaking out about
it's a goldfish dude, chill the fuck out and smoke some purp
Goldfish live a long time if you treat them right. You probably treated your fish the way you treated your ex. No wonder why you're not together and your fish is dead. Get a punching bag for those negative feelings yo! You're pathetic. ;D
This is brilliant, great idea
I bought a puppy named it after you, then kicked it. You are a serious jackass
Everyone seems to be focusing on the fish. Am i the only one who thinks that this psycho is one step away from going on a shooting spree? Most serial killers start out killing things that can't fight back.
That's a horrible thing to do. Regardless of what your ex did, what did the poor, innocent fishy do to you? NOTHING.
What a waste! Of a goldfish, of a text, of my time. :)
whateva helps ya right?
Oh! That's harsh! Poor fishy…
Umm...did someone say SUSHI?? I hate ex's thats why they are called ex's! I would have taken a fishhook and line and caught that fucker and yanked her out of the bowl neanderthal style!!! Boooyah!!! =)
Hilarious but cruel ... But mostly hilarious
Considering my text was in reference to something that happened 3 years ago, I think I'm over it buddy. And I'm not trying to justify myself, I still think it's funny. And how did I do anything crazy to anybody? I didn't even speak to my ex, so how was that affecting her at all? But I better stop now Vefore I hurt anyone else's feelings :(
I'm not sure whats worse, how pathetic the text makes the OP sound, or how pathetic the OP defending himself on here is.
People who are calling others hypocrites = Hahaha idiots. There are many reasons to kill, but to kill for revenge... Against an unrelated creature = crazy as shit.
dude. that is so funny. props
hahahaha I fucking LOVE you. lol Some of these kids must not have had some SHITTY ass girlfriends. Mine was a 9 on looks but a fucking -6 times on not cheating. I'm seriously considering doing this hahaha.
If it helped u deal, then super fantastic! Breakups blow
It's just a goldfish...you can't attribute innocence, intelligence, or guilt to a thing which has no theory of mind
i really hope everyone bitching here is a
vegetarian. otherwise you're all fucking
Uhm it's a fish homebro.
Not a dog.
Or your mother.
first sign of a serial killer, abusing animals
I've totally heard this line before.. surely on tv or a movie... "she" never left your sorry ass because you never had a girlfriend to begin with
10:10 you're an idiot only one person sad that and I picked up some sarcasm there.
LOL. i didn't know goldfish were so valuable. kill himself instead? kill his ex gf instead? he's prop defending himself because everyone on here is a bunch of pussies
I also can't believe people are defending this shit.
goldfish activism is a growing cause. vegetarians and vegans are annoying as hell. altruism is worthless. good for you, you don't eat meat. they still slaughtered as many cows today as they did yesterday. and if he didn't kill that fish somebody else would have. i didn't realize how attached people could get to their aquatic pets. i love when my goldfish curls up around my feet while i sleep!
6:46 - Yes, because it is a goldfish, it shouldn't mean shit. I'm not going to cry over it any more than I'd cry over the tuna I had for dinner last night, or the salmon from the night before.
We kill fish by the millions, and most of you don't care - if anything, you like it. As soon as it goes from industrial to personal, though, you shit bricks. WTF?
you're a fuckface for killing that goldfish, I hope someone buys you one day. fucks you in the ass like a hundred or so times, then let's you die a slow very painful death..fuckface
The record amount of time a goldfish lived is 43 years. And many live 15-20 years.
That is an amazing idea. People need to lighten up and realize it is just a goldfish, not an animal of higher significance. I eat salmon, tuna, swordfish, trout and any other fish you can name, does that make me a cannibal?
Sociopath in the making.
Shit! There are a lot more goldfish activists on here than I would have guessed. They all probably like fishsticks too. It's called catharsis people and it is a very important grieving process. Read sown Freud!
this is hilarious. but what's even more hilarious is how much everyone cares. it's a fish, people. serial killers kill small animals like dogs and cats, this guy said he named this fish for his ex because he knew it would eventually die. it doesn't seem like he just sat and watched it starve. get over it. i guess none of you eat fish? or any other meat? or wear animal hides? hypocrites.
My goldfish had a smeel that reminded me of my ex, so I ate it
woooow. people are crazy. this is hilarious. It's a fucking fish, not a person. so shut the fuck up and go eat some seafood 'cause you know you want some. kthanks!
hhaahaah this is beautiful, i might do the same
poor fish... but this IS funny. i'm torn between
disgust and approval.
11:18 is so right I you care about a little fucking gold fish dying you need to go to a gold fish
Protection website not tfln..
:( poor fish? Don't fucking be like that dick head, how about someone let's you die just to prove a point and express their emotions? Hmm? Bet you. Wouldn't like itt
bahaha i think this is hilarious. it is a goldfish and if you hadn't let it die, some little kid wouldve and the kid woulda been depressed. you on the other hand were elated. all i can say is this goldfish's life was not wasted.
this is hysertical. the fish would have died in a week anyways.
Poor goldfish. That's fucked up, man.
This is sad..not the fish dying.. All you losers who care so much about it out of everything that dies everyday you rant about some goldfish.. If you care about things dying care about fucking genocide or something thy actually will make a difference in the world..
You're an asshole and i hope you die...bitch
9:26 "I blew all kinds of animals last 4th" that's some top shit dude.
hahaha its a goldfish people... I just can't believe the dude paid 25 cents for one! You shoulda at least got two or three for that price!
that is freaking funny!!! made my day!!
PETA HATES YOU
i love how he is automatically a "Republican" who the fuck cares. considering liberals eat fish every day. let it goooo.
sometimes liberals are even more ridiculous than conservatives. case & point
i must say, i am sooo non-violent. But i laughed out loud when i read this. and then laughed out loud again when i read the posters response to the goldfish people. Really funny. SHifty eyes!!!
fish are our friends ot ex girlfriends
No wonder you're single, you malicious bastard. Anyone who is this cruel to helpless animals should die miserable and alone.
Sorry, that was supposed to be a response to the "Kill yourself, not a fish" crowd.
Another Bundy in the making...do us a favor and put your lips around the barrel and pull the trigger
Haha Ive done something like this, but I didnt kill it on purpose. I knew that it would die within like 3 weeks, ITS A GOLDFISH. Haha and I named it his nickname so it wasnt as bad haha.
I'm assuming that everyone that is up in arms about this has never squashed a bug? Or worn leather shoes? Because otherwise you would be a total hipocrite; and we all know there are none of those on THIS site! ;)
Listen, This is the funniest shit i have read all morning. Thank you for giving me ideas for ways to cope with break ups.
12:47 I actually love you.
if you really did take care of the fish, then i have to admit that this is a little funny. however, your text was very poorly worded. maybe you shouldn't have said that you 'let it die.' it kind of makes me think you starved it... i really hope you're being truthful when you say you really did take care of it.
hahahaha seriously?? its a fuckin fish and THIS many people want to rip this dude a new asshole over it? shit, i thought it was a pretty fuckin awesome idea. oh wow he let a goldfish die must be why his gf left him (not like she was probably a bitch like most chicks or anything..)
I think that is retarded to but it is ok to hunt deer and go fishing but kill a goldfish and everyone freaks out
dear TFLN do-gooders: you spend your time on a website that glorifies alcoholism, abortions, casual sex, and other forms of debauchery. and i love it. get off your high horses. it's a fish
Uh just because it's a goldfish means it shouldn't mean shit? Whoever thinks that is ignorant. Just because it's small doesn't make the pain less. Doesn't matter the size or anything, it's still fucked up. If he did that to a dog i'm sure you'd care. W/e, this is lame
So so smart. Haha. Hella funny
Yes actually I do not eat meat or fish thank you very much. I'm not a hypocrite
You're a piece of shit if you really killed an animal because your EX wised up. Maybe I'll do the same thing to you if I ever get my heart broken.
i swear goldfish have a life expectancy of 2 hours anyway
Shitty thing to do i mean id feel bad at first but seriously people theres worse things in life.
you r disgusting. hope every girl who knows you punishes you somehow
maybe I'll buy one and name it after my future ex wife!
5:22... talk about a sociopath. letting a goldfish die, or killing a human? who's the real piece of shit? you must REALLY love goldfish
This is obviously fake. When you send a text message to a friend, they obviously know the name of your ex girl friend. You wouldnt state "i named it after my ex gf" instead, you would say "i named it after sarah." TFLN never ceases to dissapoint.
I refer to my ex as "my ex" 99% of the time. Make of that what you will.
Did u flush it down the toilet also? I hope so
lol i love it! this girl i used to work wid confessed her ex found the ugliest dog he could and named it after her lol
Rule number 32 enjoy the little things
blah blah blah GOLDFISH ARE PEOPLE TOO blah blah blah PETA blah blah blah OP blah blah blah TED BUNDY blah blah blah BARACK OBAMA blah.
Pathetic. Your girlfriend and a goldfish are two DIFFERENT things, ass hole!
This shit is fuckin hilarious. Regardless if it's real or not it made my day and I posted it as my facebook status. Fuck ex's and it's just a goldfish.
Come on...it's a goddamn fish. Get over it, it's freakin' funny. Made my day by the way, thanks.
You should have named the fish Barack, then everyone would be happy when he took the toilet ride!!
Hahaha that's funny as hell. I actually hope this one is fake tho
It could have been worse... He could have bought a female puppy, named it after his ex, then beaten it to death with a pool ball in a sock. Just saying.
That sounds like a plan, but I love my goldfish more than my ex. By quite a long way.
To everyone who is saying that this is awful and evil - how is it any different than having chicken for dinner? Unless you're a raging PETA type, who thinks that any use of animals is evil and wrong(at which point I'll respect your consistency, but fear for your sanity), you're just being stupid. We kill animals to make ourselves happier all the time. This is no worse than a leather handbag, a pork chop, a bullfight, or a rat test to see just how much cancer weird chemicals can cause.
So, your catharsis is worth more than the life of a goldfish? That's animal cruelty to me, not to mention the United States. Was there evidence of this, I'd be the first to report it to PETA. Sure, break-ups suck, I've seen what they can do to people. Nothing like that.
do you people kill spiders, flies, mosquitoes? Then stfu about the damn goldfish.
You are a fucked up person and you would be in the worlds best interests if you jumped off a high building
This. Is. Hilarious.
lol @ everyone defending the fish. you can't bring it back, and i doubt this is a weekly occurrence for him. he did it ONE time and it's hilarious. calm the fuck down
PETA is out in full force in this thread
10:26 - So you prefer that he violently attack his ex-girlfriend instead of killing a stupid goldfish? You're fucked-up, bro.
You guys need to calm the fuck down. He even replied and said he took care of it and it died because it's a FISH. Ted Bundy in the making? It was a goldfish, not a kitten. And he didn't murder it and keep its skull, crazy. This is funny as hell and you guys need to learn to take a fucking joke.
I would have mailed it to her
You're an asshole. You shouldn't have taken your anger out on a poor little fish. I can see why she dumped your pathetic ass. You will be alone for a very long time dick head!
I made some bombs out of picolo Petes and I blew all kinds of snakes and small animals this last 4th I don't think I would waste time or money buyin something to kill but all things r born to die
Does 1:18 know that our prez is half black and half white!?
He didn't kill it. He let it die. Why is it a person's responsibility to feed their enslaved fish? It's not like he pounded it with a mallet or cut it into pieces... and even if he did, so what, it's a gd fish.
OP: your are going to get GNARLY karma for this in your next life and your a fish and your owner kills you. Your crazy dickwad asswipe fucking bitch horehound cunt face peice of shit. Yea. I went there
6:25, you're a dumbass. my goldfish lived for 3 years. you're not funny.
Thats fucked up. You breaking up with ur gf has nothing to do with being cruel to an animal. Ur a piece of shit
10:14 - really? you picked up sarcasm in "Kill your ex before you kill another innocent animal"? damn, you're good. you should work for the cops or some shit
yeah, who cares about the OP it's funny. let's focus on 1:18 that wants to flush a PERSON down the toilet. that's a sociopath right there!
Say,would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? There a little melted, but damn are they exquisite !
yes, I think that 1:18 needs to get thrown in a hole by the secret service.
So if you kill a fish you're a terrible person, but if you kill a human you're okay?
11:18... Fake Police! Wee-oo Wee-oo. Job well done sir, we salute you. Maybe he didn't want people putting two and two together? Or maybe he actually just said that to someone. Your keen eye will surely prove useful in the future. We appreciate you keeping TFLN safe against fake posters.
10:03  I couldn't have said it better.
little things LIKE YOUR DICK
Wow, you really need to kill an innocent animal to make yourself feel better? Either this is fake, or you are a stupid piece of shit.
Just kill the exe's new boyfriend. There are too many humans anyway.
WOW there are A LOT of idiots on this website. are all you fish huggers living in california?? because thats where i would expect to hear this crap from.
Great way to blow off steam!
oops - I meant 11:24!
why would you kill an innocent fish? i love my goldfish and he's old. they don't just die, you obviously neglected it. that's cruel :(
you're fucked up you fuckin loser how the fuck could you kill something just to validate yourself....you're such an idiot.
I agree with 1:18 let's flush Barack!!!!!!
In Russia, this is normal.
you're a fucking douchebag. and writing additional messages pretending you are other people who agree with you is beyond pathetic. LOL!
bragging about killing a goldfish? OF COURSE the girl dumped you. look at the kind of pussy shit you do! you can defend yourself as much as you like now, but it still doesn't make you any less of an asshole.
Is it acceptable to put 2 fish in the same tank that "might" not get along and name the aggressive one after yourself and the bitch one after your ex? Just say you didn't know they wouldnt get along..symbolic
everyone is taking this way too seriously. i doubt someone would post this if they were intentionally trying to harm something. this website is for jokes. i'm guessing that's what this is. get over it guys.
Listen, Mr. OP- you can say whatever you want now in response to all the hate you are getting but the fact is you said "let it die." That implies you starved it, or otherwise neglected it, which is cruel by anyone's standards. And you are obviously not over it and should end your engagement now, vefore you do something crazy to this girl too.
haha. yeahhhh atlanta.
what a sick cruel person.
That is awesome. U r the mannn!!!
10:59... Hahaha! Fuck fish!
This made my day to whoever wrote this
Well, even if you took good care of it, a lot of people who read this are going to think this is a good/funny idea and fishies are going to be dieing everywhere
6:27 I'm with you on that.
9:26 I hope you get arrested for animal cruelty, you sick psycho.
This is sad. Fuck with the bitch not the fish ha.
How could anyone think this is a bad night?!?!
Dude this is fawwkin' hillarious!!!
It would have been more satisying to feed your goldfish to a bigger fish with bad teeth, right?
This made me laugh but you really are a loser. To people that are freaking out about it if your going to freak out about a goldfish dying why don't you go to Africa and help the hundreds of thousands of starving children.
Pick you battles people. So many people totally just waste their lives. Including trying to save the goldfish.
2:52... you do realize there's a difference between human beings and 25 cent fish from a large retail store right?
I'm the OP and I would like to say you guys are crazy. I took care of it and it died because it's a Walmart gold fish, you crazy hippies. It's like buying a plant I knew would die and named it after my ex. But I bet the plant has feelings too. I have 2 cats, and I train special needs dogs. Also, I'm engaged. So the ironic joke is on all of you. Learn to take a joke.
1:18 is a racist hater! Crucify him!