apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
