Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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