I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I supernannyed him into submission
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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