belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
