dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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