Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
